THE BIG HAT STORY

DEAR FRIENDS,

WE ARE PLEASED TO HAVE SO MANY NEW ONES ON OUR MAILING LIST. THE RESPONSIBILITY AND PLEASURE TO SHARE MY DAYS AND YEARS ON THE RESERVATION REMINDS ME THESE NEW ONES DON’T KNOW SOME OF MY EARLIER DAYS AMONG THE INDIANS. THERE FOR I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A PREVIOUS STORY.

IT WAS ABOUT 1970, I VISITED A GRANDMOTHER CALLED ALICE . SHE DID NOT SPEAK ENGLISH- NOR I NAVAJO. BUT SHE REWARDED MY VISITS WITH TRADITIONAL BREAD AND ALWAYS THE EVER-READY SMALL CAN OF PEARS. WE SAT BY THE FIRE, LOOKED AT EACH OTHER WITH THAT KNOWING LOOK THAT “IT’S OK” THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE VISIT WOULD BE WHEN SHE WOULD PULL A FOLDED ENVELOPE FROM INSIDE HER SHIRT CLOSE TO HER HEART. SHE WANTED ME TO TELL HER WHAT THE LETTER FROM HER DAUGHTER SAID. HOW MANY TIMES HAD I READ THE SAME SORT OF LETTER? BUT IT WAS ALICE ’S DELIGHT TO WATCH ME TRY TO EXPLAIN IT’S CONTENTS. I OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND OUT ROLLED THE USUAL FIVE DOLLAR BILL. I WOULD NOT LET GRANDMOTHER DOWN. I WOULD DO MY USUAL PANTOMIME. THE LETTER SAID MOM I LOVE YOU. HERE IS FIVE DOLLARS TO BUY YOUR SELF SOME BEEF. I KNOW YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH. NOW GRAND MOTHER SAT UP AND WATCHED INTENTLY AS I CAME CLOSE TO THE PART OF THE “BEEF” WORD. I PUT MY INDEX FINGERS TO MY HEAD FOR HORNS AND BELLOWED LIKE A COW, RUBBED MY STOMACH AND SAID IN NAVAJO “EAT” HOLDING UP THE FIVE DOLLAR BILL. GRANDMOTHER ALICE DID HER USUAL BELLY ROLLING LAUGH TILL TEARS STREAMED DOWN HER CHEEKS. I HAD MADE THIS LONELY NAVAJO GRAND-MOTHER LAUGH. IT WAS WORTH IT. SHE TAUGHT ME MORE NAVAJO WORDS AND GIGGLED AS I CONSTANTLY GOOFED UP. I HAD TROUBLE WITH ENGLISH AND SHE WANTS ME TO LEARN NAVAJO? WHEN SHE GAINED CONTROL OF HER SELF SHE SAID “COME BACK THE SAME TIME TOMORROW. I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY” MY PLAINS DID NOT INCLUDE THIS, BUT I KNEW BETTER THAN TO TELL A GRANDMOTHER "“NO" IT IS JUST NOT IN THE CULTURE. OK I SAID, TOMORROW. WE HUGGED AND I CLIMBED OUT OF THE CANYON AWAY FROM HER HOGAN AND SWEET CEDAR SMELL FROM THE CAMP FIRE . I WILL RETURN TOMORROW BUT NOT ALONE, YOU WILL GO WITH ME.

YOU AND I WOKE EARLY TO THE RING OF AN AX. SOON THE VALLEY WOULD FILL WITH SOUNDS AND SMELLS OF A NEW DAY. IN OUR ONE SMALL POT WE BOILED CORN MEAL MUSH. WHEN LUCKY WE HAVE RAISINS TO TOSS IN. TODAY WE ARE NOT LUCKY. THEN I REMEMBER MY PROMISE TO GRANDMOTHER. I TRY TO STIFLE MY SIGH OF THE TRIP BACK DOWN INTO THE CANYON. YOU ARE ALREADY USING YOUR FINGERS LIKE A COMB. AN HOUR LATER WE ARE AT GRANDMOTHER ALICE’S HOGON. WE SMELL THE WILD HERB TEA AND I KNOW THIS IS NO SHORT VISIT. TO MY SURPRISE HER NEPHEW “LIMPY RONNIE” IS ALSO WAITING. HE IS CALLED THAT BECAUSE HE CAME HOME FROM THE ARMY WITH A DAMAGED LEG. WE GREET EACH OTHER IN THE TRADITIONAL HANDCLASP. MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD ME TO TRANSLATE SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO TELL YOU RONNIE SAID. I WAS DYING TO LOOK AT MY WATCH BUT DID NOT DARE, THAT WOULD BE SO RUDE AND MAY HURT GRANDMOTHERS FEELINGS. EVEN THOUGH SHE WORE THICK GLASSES SHE NEVER MISSED A THING. WE ALL SIPPED HERB TEA IN SILENCE. GRANDMOTHER EYED ME INTENTLY AS THOUGH SHE WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF I WAS WORTHY OF WHAT WAS ON HER MIND. SHE STARTED TO TALK AND RONNIE TRANSLATED. AS HER STORY WENT ON I FOUND MY SELF TOTALLY ENGROSSED. I WOULD NOT HAVE MISSED THIS OPPORTUNITY FOR THE WORLD. THE FOLLOWING IS HER STORY…..

WHEN I WAS SMALL I HAD ONE SISTER. WE WERE MAYBE FIVE OR SIX YEARS OLD. WE LIVED IN OUR HOGON WITH OUR MOTHER AND FATHER. WE HERDED SHEEP. WE ATE SHEEP MEAT AND SLEPT ON SHEEPSKINS. ONE DAY A COVERED WAGON LIKE WE NEVER SAW ROLLED UP TO OUR HOGON. A WHITE MAN WITH HAIR ON HIS FACE GREETED US IN OUR OWN LANGUAGE. HE WORE A BIG ROUND HAT. WE NEVER SAW A HAT LIKE THAT. AS HIS VISITS CONTINUED WE CALLED HIM “BIG HAT.” OUR MOTHER AND FATHER INVITED HIM TO STAY AND EAT. US NAVAJOS LIKE PEOPLE TO VISIT WHO ARE NOT IN A HURRY. EVERY TIME THE MAN VISITED HE CLOSED HIS EYES BEFORE HE ATE AND TALKED TO SOMEONE. OUR PARENTS PRAYED WITH OPEN EYES. THIS WAS DIFFERENT TO SEE. ONE NIGHT HE STARTED TO TELL A STORY ABOUT THIS GOD PERSON AND THAT HE HAD A SON. OUR FATHER HELD UP HIS HAND FOR BIG HAT TO STOP. ME AND MY SISTER WERE TOLD TO LEAVE THE HOGON. BUT WE WERE CHILDREN, WE DID WHAT CHILDREN DO. WE ONLY DID PART OF WHAT OUR FATHER TOLD US TO DO. WE KNEW HE DID NOT WANT US TO HEAR WHAT BIG HAT HAD TO SAY. MY SISTER AND ME LEFT THE HOGON, CLOSED THE SMALL DOOR THEN PUT OUR EAR UP TO IT SO WE COULD HEAR THE STORY. BIG HAT TOLD OUR PARENTS ABOUT A GOD WHO MADE THE EARTH AND THE ANIMALS. THE SUN AND THE MOON. THIS IS NOT THE WAY OUR PARENTS TAUGHT US. ME AND MY SISTER HEARD ABOUT THIS GOD THAT HAD A SON. THE SON WAS KILLED BUT GOT TO LIVE AGAIN. WHAT A STRANGE GOD MR. BIG HAT HAD. GOD LET HIS SON DIE BECAUSE HE LOVED THE PEOPLE HE HAD MADE. THIS WAS A CONFUSING STORY. BUT AT THE END OF EACH STORY BIG HAT SANG A SONG. IT WENT SOME THING LIKE THIS. JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW FOR THE BOOK SAYS IT. WE DID NOT KNOW WHAT A BOOK WAS. BUT THE SINGING WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE CEREMONIES WE WERE USE TO. FOR MANY MONTHS MR. BIG HAT VISITED. WE NEVER KNEW WHEN HE WOULD ARRIVE. ONE DAY HE HAD A WOMEN WITH HIM AND SHE HAD A BABY IN HER ARMS. THE BABY WAS WHITE LIKE MR. AND MRS. BIG HAT. MY SISTER AND ME WANTED TO STAY IN THE HOGON TO LOOK AT THE WHITE BABY. BUT WHEN MR. BIG HAT STARTED TO TELL ABOUT THE STRANGE GOD OUR PARENTS MADE US LEAVE. WE REALLY DRAGGED OUR FEET AS CHILDREN DO TODAY. BUT AGAIN WE LISTENED AT THE HOGON DOOR. OUR PARENTS THOUGHT WE WERE AT THE SHADE HOUSE. MR. AND MRS. BIG HAT VISITED OFF AND ON FOR ABOUT A YEAR. ONE DAY THEY WENT AWAY AND NEVER RETURNED. T

MY SISTER AND I KEPT WATCHING FOR THE COVERED WAGON. BUT AS TIME WENT BY WE WENT ON WITH OUR LIVES. I WAS TOLD I WOULD MARRY A YOUNG MAN. IT WAS ACCEPTED. MY MOTHER CHOSE HIM. I SOON HAD A LITTLE GIRL OF MY OWN. SHE WAS THE JOY IN MY HEART. I CANNOT SAY HER NAME TO YOU; IT IS AGAINST OUR CULTURE. SHE WAS VERY PRETTY. I TOOK HER WITH ME TO HERD SHEEP. SHE WAS ON THE CRADLEBOARD. AS SHE GREW SHE COULD BABY WALK ALONG BEHIND ME. I ENJOYED JUST HER AND ME WITH THE SHEEP. I PLAYED GAMES WITH HER USING SMALL STONES AND STICKS. I MADE HER A DOLL FROM CORNHUSKS AND STICKS. SHE CARRIED IT EVERY PLACE. MY FATHER MADE HER MOCCASINS. SHE HELPED ME MAKE TRADITIONAL BREAD. SHE WOULD MAKE A MESS WITH IT ALL OVER HERSELF. BUT I LOVED HER SO MUCH NONE OF THAT MATTERED. ONE DAY SHE WAS CHANTING LIKE SHE HEARD AT A CEREMONY. THEN I REMEMBERED MR. BIG HATS SONG. ME AND MY LITTLE GIRL SANG IT TOGETHER. I TOLD HER BIG HATS STORY. LOVE SURROUNDED US AND WE WERE HAPPY. THEN ONE DAY MY CHILD GOT SICK. THE MEDICINE MAN COULD NOT MAKE HER WELL. SHE PASSED ON. AFTER THAT I COULD NOT HEAR OR SEE OR FEEL. I COULD NOT EAT, SLEEP OR CRY. I DID NOT WANT TO GO ON WITH LIFE. THIS WENT ON FOR A LONG TIME. ONE DAY I COULD NOT EVEN GET OFF MY SHEEPSKIN WHERE I SLEPT. TO LIVE WITH OUT HER WAS TO PAINFUL. ONE DAY I WAS WISHING TO JUST PASS ON ALSO. I HEARD THE WIND PLAYING AROUND THE SMOKE HOLE ABOVE ME IT WAS LOUD. THIS WAS A STRANGE WIND. THEN I HEARD A SMALL VOICE SINGING IN THE WIND. “JESUS AYOO ASHO NI” (JESUS LOVES ME) THE VOICE GOT STRONGER AND I JOINED IN. TOGETHER ME AND MY CHILD SANG BIG HATS SONG. MY TEARS FELL OFF MY FACE FOR A LONG TIME. I DO NOT KNOW HOW LONG THIS LASTED. BUT AFTER A WHILE MY CHILDS VOICE FADED AND I FELT HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME. I STOOD UP AND THE HEAVY STONE IN MY HEART WAS GONE. I PUT MY MOCCASINS ON AND WENT BACK TO HERDING SHEEP. I STILL SING THAT SONG. WILL YOU SING IT WITH ME?

THAT’S THE END OF GRANDMOTHERS STORY. BUT I WANT YOU DEAR READER TO KNOW TO THIS DAY THERE ARE CHRISTIANS FROM GRANDMOTHERS FAMILY. SOME ATTEND THE CHURCH WHERE KEN AND I FELLOWSHIP. GODS WORD IS POWERFUL. MR. BIG HAT NEVER KNEW THE SEED HE PLANTED. HE WAS JUST BEING OBEDIENT TO THE CALLING GOD GAVE HIM.

HERE WITH YOUR PRAYERS AND BLESSINGS, KEN& SYLVIA